Yep, We planned on me Dying …. Pat and i had “the talk” many times over in the last four months. For the last year it has been a very stressful road health wise as i have not been feeling well. Actually not since about 2005.
We have been trying to get answers on my health since last October 2011. At first they thought it was my heart and most likely would need major surgery if it was. That was ruled out in last December 2011.
Then, this April 6th, the Pinellas County Health plan doctors told me they thought i may have Mesothelioma Asbestos Cancer or MS due to my symptoms and my history as a heavy equipment and bus mechanic. My symptoms really seem like that would be true. It hit Pat and i hard. We shared tears and more tears and began living in fear for the next month or so. We thought…..really, is this how it is going to end? An ugly horrible suffering death with asbestos cancer? It was not a pretty thought. It stressed us out greatly.
By June 11th, two months later, i still had not received the referral for the “urgent” chest xray the Pinellas County Health Department Clinic doctors wanted to have done. At this point Pat and i were plain upset and numb at the same time.
On 7/10/2012 another month later i finally received and picked up the approval on the chest xray referral from the Pinellas County Health department and drove directly to the imaging center to have the xray completed.
My next available followup appointment at the Pinellas County Health Department was for 8/15/2012 (today), a month and 5 days after getting the xray. So we had to wait another month until we got an answer as to if i had Mesothelioma Cancer or not. Now a 4 month wait.
We were numb. Simply numb. I was given the CD of the xray images to give to my doctor when i seen him today. So…..we had over a month to look at them and “assume” what we seen compared to other images on the web. Of course we do not know what we are looking at, but they did not look good compared to other images and the imaging center would not give me any information when i called either because i had not seen the follow up doctor yet.
Bottom line was….i have been feeling horrible and everything was adding up to the cancer or the MS they advised us about on April 6th.
So, in the second week of July, with my personal relationship with Jesus Christ and Jehovah God i personally went very deep inside myself and spoke to Jehovah God and Jesus both, telling them i am only here to do Jehovah’s Will and Jesus’s work. They have both done so much for me over the years.
I told them i was ready to die and that i was not and would not be upset with either of them. I believed that most likely my “Purpose” here had been completed and it was my time to go. Gotta go somehow i thought….right?
So Pat and i once again had “the talk” about how i would want things to go etc etc, you know how it is. We laughed and cried…a lot. Then …..we just stopped. I know Pat was upset that i seemed to be maybe giving in, but it was more of acceptance. It was me accepting whatever Jehovah God had in store for me, what ever His will was for me and if that is what it was…then that is how it would be.
I prayed and spoke to Jesus and Jehovah more and more asking them both what they wanted me to do. Rest? Or hit it harder!? So, the answer i got was hit it harder! So i thought ok, well if i am going to die anyways, what do i have to lose!? So i started our *Project *Cleanup* on 7/29 and hit it hard! Helping people and cleaning up the community at the same time. I pushed and pushed. Pat was not happy i know.
Then……….on 8/7….my body shut me down hard once again with those same symptoms rearing up in my face big time! I haven’t been able to go anywhere or do anything since 8/7. Thats the pattern of my symptoms…i can push hard but then after a couple weeks my body shuts down and i am down for 2-3 days or 1-2 weeks.
This time it has been 1.5 weeks and I began feeling better yesterday.
This morning, Wednesday, 8/15/2012 i went for my appointment to follow up finally on the chest xray that would tell me if i had the Mesothelioma cancer or not.
NO CANCER! NONE! CLEAR! NADDA! NOTHING! WHOOOO HOOOO!
The Glory belongs to Jehovah God this time for sure! No doubt in MY mind!
I still need to have tests done to determine if i may have MS (Multiple Sclerosis) But i can live with that!
*****BONUS TIME***** To top things off…….!! As Pat and i left the Pinellas County Health Department Clinic, Pat recognized a man we had helped in 2010-2011. It was a very tough situation. Most of them if not all of them are. We went through a lot with this man and his family of the time. We, Pat and i/STA did extensive work with this man. We talk about him almost all the time. Everywhere i drive i watch for him every day. He was standing outside having a smoke. I drove by him to see if it was him as we left. He seen our van and yelled out and pointed…HEY! I yelled back….is that you!!!??? I got out of the van and he came up to me and this tall black man gave me a huge hug! Pat took one too! I expected a handshake. Nope, He went for the hug and i obliged happily! OH My GOD, literally My GOD THANK YOU! Also Thank You to Jesus for placing this man here to day for Pat to see! I cannot tell you how happy i am today to see this man. He looked so different! He looked great! He looked healthy! He was at the clinic to get a tooth worked on. We had gotten him and his family of the time a place to stay for a while back in 2010-2011 and we had found him a job. His first “real” job. WOW, if only i could tell you the whole story you would be simply amazed.
****BUT, lets just suffice to say, that this man with a record, a history if you will had a t-shirt on from St. Petersburg College….SPC!! HE STARTS SCHOOL TODAY!!! His major??? SUBSTANCE ABUSE! ANNNNND…he is now engaged to a new lady and doing well with her and in his own apartment! My head was spinning with excitement! Again! Thank you Jesus for walking this man through the den of wolves and seeing him through! Thank You for talking to your Father in heaven Jehovah God on this mans behalf! Thank you Jesus for saving his life and helping him to …..”Take Back His Life.” Talk about Success!
The MOTTO of this story???
I THANK YOU JESUS for having my back and going before Jehovah God on my behalf. I Thank You Jesus for hearing me and I Thank You Jehovah God for listening!
I am here for you Jehovah God as always and I am here to do what You need me to do in Jesus’s name as always in order for your Will To Be Done! Nothing has changed. We are still on track! I never gave up, i never doubted you, neither of you. I was ready to die for you and still am.
BUT, i see You have more things for me to do Jehovah God!
Ok Jehovah God Almighty, here i am! Let Jesus loose on me!
Let’s Get This Done!
Better look over your shoulder satan! I am coming for you in Jesus’s name!