Last week on 6-9-2011 while my wife and i were eating dinner, we had a neighbor knock on our door at 7:00pm who lives 4 houses from us on the same side of the street, and who really never has spoken to us in the last 2.5 years which we have lived here.

He, his wife, two children and their infant grandchild were in our driveway.  He asked if they could talk to us to see if we could “help” them.

My dinner sat on the table, half eaten.  I stepped outside and spoke to the family.  They told me their need.  They stated a “friend”  (lots more to the story) had just arrived at their home after driving 20 hours from out-of-state.  The female “friend” had 4 children and a dog.  She needed a place to stay and they wanted to know if we could help as there was absolutely no way possible she could stay in their house.  There simply was no room and they did not want her and the kids there.

I asked a list of questions and stated it is practically impossible to find housing for a family of 5, free at that and on a last minutes notice.  BUT, i stated i would be glad to come and talk to her and try to help her.  We Always try.  I asked them to give me 10 minutes to finish my dinner and then i would come down to their house.

I arrived at their house at 8:00pm in our Mobile Crisis/Intervention Van as that is where we interview our Friends In Need and it seems to provide a safe and warm, calming feeling……from Jesus i believe.  :-))!

On this particular weekend we had 10 people all at once explode into crisis mode needing our attention and services and we assisted all of them.  As you read this, please keep in mind, we are a very small nonprofit, Public Charity, Mobile Crisis/Intervention Unit in need of financial assistance, doing extensive work between only 3 of us.

From 8:00pm-11:00pm (3 hours), i spoke to the Mother of 4 children, all under 16.  She told me her supposed story.  She was in panic mode.  Half way here to Florida, this family who came to us for help who had told her to go ahead and come to Florida, evidently called her on her cell phone to tell her she would have no place to stay when she arrived.  She told me she panicked then but kept driving.  When she arrived here she states she had $150.00.

After 2 hours of interviewing her, i had an idea.  I explained in detail to this Mother about the idea i had and what it would entail.  It wouldn’t be perfect, i made that very clear.  I also made clear the house was large enough and the host a very caring person who just needed a little help.  She would just need to help the host clean a little and run some errands for her, maintain her children and area.  She would not have to pay anything even though she gets disability for two of her children.  I would call one of our local donors who is disabled and needs some extra help herself, who is generous and caring and see if she would be willing to be our first  V.T.H.N host(Volunteer Temporary Housing Network).  It was 10:00pm approx when i called.  She stated…..”Do u need to bring them now?  Come on up!”

WOW, i could not believe it.  We had come up with a place at 10:00pm at night to place a single mom of 4 children.  I was so appreciated and honored by our local donors willingness and caring soul.

I sat for another hour explaining in more detail what she should/could expect at this Hosts home.  I asked if she would be ok with it.  She of course stated yes.

Then, at 11:00pm, we were done talking and she advised me that she could spend the night at this other families house and we would go in the morning when everyone is rested.  By the way, this family in need also has a small dog.  After a conversation we agreed to take care of the dog for her while she was at the V.T.H.N.  We had just lost one of ours to cancer so we thought why not?  Her small 4 month old dog was so flea infested it took my wife Pat, 4 times bathing her just to make a small dent in riding the fleas.  We felt so badly for this poor dog.  We treated her with flea treatment, she was so relieved.  On Sunday, Pat bathed her again, just to try to get rid of more fleas.

Ok, so it is now Friday at 11:00am or so and this family arrives at our home in their car.  I had prepared the paperwork and asked the Mother to read it over carefully and went back inside our home to do a few things.  When i came back out she stated she had read the paperwork which detailed what would be expected of her.  Again, she would pay no monies and had very light duties to perform at the home.  Remember, she is right now, homeless, with supposedly no place to go.  She read and signed the paperwork.  Her children by the way are awesome.

Now, it is Friday at about noon and we leave at 12:15 approx head up to Clearwater, FL, 20 miles away approx to the V.T.H.N. hosts home.  The family in their car and me in our Mobile Crisis van.  We arrived at 1:00pm.  We sat and had a meeting showed the family around and the host ordered pizza for the family.  This house is in a very safe, nice area and has 4 bedrooms, two baths and a huge fenced in patio.  While it may not be perfect for this family, it was safe, nice and the host is kind, generous and caring.  Plus, they had nowhere else to go.  Evidently.

I left about 3:00pm to leave everyone to settle down and get to know each other.  There are also 3 small really cute dogs in this home which is great for the kids especially as they are now away from their own dog.

So, again.  It is Friday.  The day after they all came to us for emergency help of which we, Straight Ahead outreach (Taking Back Your Life) Inc. provided along with our first ever V.T.H.N. host.

The family, the Mother that is, dumped all their stuff into the rooms, clothing, food etc and left to drive back to St. Petersburg.  Doing nothing at the home to get settled in.  She advises the host they will return by 6:30pm.  We do not hear from the family until about 8:00pm and the Mother states she fell asleep on the couch and had not had time to bathe her dog etc and we advised her we would take care of bathing her dog so we could make sure the fleas were at least minimized.  Our V.T.H.N. host was getting ready to settle in for the evening and had expected the family home so they could full-fill their end of the deal by helping a little around the home.  The Mother and her 4 children do not arrive back to the hosts home until after 11:00pm, almost midnight.

Now, Saturday comes and the family once again gets up and the Mother takes everyone back to St. Petersburg, once again doing nothing to help around the house or get settled in.  I am very concerned for our host, not her safety, but rather her generosity.  Safety was not a concern as this family in need is not a threat in that way.  At this point i decide if there are any more “flags” i will terminate this arrangement.  Let me just say, yes, there were some minor, very minor rules in place in order to protect the host and also to help this family.  Bottomline, the mother just does not like rules, any rules.   The family once again, stays the night for the second time now in the very families house that came to us in emergency need stating they would not allow the family to stay with them.  I spoke to the Mother Saturday night to express my concerns.

It is now Sunday and as i stated this weekend since the Thursday evening before it was exploding for us.  I was helping 5 others besides this family of 5.  I was with another Friend In Need when i received a text from the Mother in this story that she had found a place she could stay at (but didn’t know the address or anything) and was on her way to our V.T.H.N. hosts home to collect her things.

It is 5:00pm on Sunday and i am on another crisis and with the person.  I call our V.T.H.N. host and advise her of the situation.  I apologize and ask her if she would prefer me to be there when the Mother and her 4 children arrive to collect their belongings.  She stated Yes.  I apologize to the person i was with at the time, who we know well and have been assisting for some time and they understood.  I leave within 15 minutes.  I was in downtown St. Petersburg, so i am now over 30 miles away from the hosts house.  I called the Mother and asked her to wait at a specific location and not to go to the house until i arrived.  She waited and we went in together and collected her things along with the help from her children.

They left.  Thanked us for the help and drove away and came back to the house just 4 houses away from us who tried to discard the family in the first place.

It was sad, the kids need some stability, this Mother needs some stability, some direction, guidance, ideas and much more, but she is just not ready for it yet.  There is much much more to this and the family’s story, but i am not getting into it in order to protect the family’s privacy.

I learned a lot in regards to our first V.T.H.N. hosting, but none of which surprised me.  This is just the nature of our business.  We were and still are extremely excited about what this opportunity provided.  The generous Host was and is still excited but sad as her heart loved the company and she loves kids.

This was just one of those cases where everything we did for this family just was not good enough.  Again, just part of the nature of the business we are in.  People go through phases and when you have Friends/Families In Need there are numerous phases they will go through and you/we/STA just have to be there to help though each phase.  If this family ends up on the street, what they do not realize is they will most likely be referred back to us.  They think it is so easy.  Sadly, they are just not, the Mother is just not willing to think or see what she is doing at this time.  We/STA will wait until her next phase.

What did the V.T.H.N. Host say as i left?   “Let’s Do This Again!”    

How Cool is that?  :-))!

Lance Greene/Founder STA